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Marriage & Love4/12#04 / 57

Most fights start with someone keeping score

Connection Regret·All ages

Dishes, tutoring fees, her mother's birthday. The fight always started the same way: "I did more." One evening his wife closed the ledger. "Let's stop keeping score. Let's each put in a hundred." That night he counted only his own share for the first time. He had thought he gave sixty; her ledger said forty. The moment you start matching numbers, you stop seeing each other's work.

Don't keep score. The key to success is having both partners try to give more than they get out of the relationship.

— Cornell Legacy Project interviews

TODAY’S PRACTICE

Erase your own list today and name three things your partner did.

#NoScorekeeping#GiveMore#Generosity

SOURCE

Karl Pillemer, 30 Lessons for Living (Farnam Street summary)

Read the original